The crying has lessened but really feel that all this is just too much to bear. I am completely on edge and strugeling to maintain for the sake of my children. Besides my close family, not many people know about my struggles with my bulimia. I so desperately want to be over this. I do OK until I weigh myself and I say uh oh, no way I weigh that fucking much.
Dannah is someone I met a few years ago. I was inspired by her. We had both decided we were going to help each other. I was going to join her softball team with her. She touched my heart in many many ways. Her loss to everyone hurts my heart so much. Those of us close to her believe she committed suicide. In a way, this makes it worse then if someone had taken her life or if it were an accident. Knowing that she could no longer live with her hurt and grief scares me. Many Many times I feel like I am out of control. That in a second of lapsed judgment it could have been me that jumped. Dannah had struggles recently with depression. The medication she was taking was making it worse. After several incidents of her having break downs, attacking her husband and taking off I would think they would prescribe her different meds. But no, they didn't. Then they took her camping, got shit faced, wtf is up with that. This is behavior uncommon to her demeanor.
On top of it all, the night I found out about Dannah my spouse got arrested for a DUI and is now close to losing his job. I don't know how much I can handle. I want to sleep all day. I haven't had a drink in two days and I am starting to feel the itch.
School work is becoming overwhelming. Sigh..
Heres the link to the story on dannah
heres some pics of me with Dannah and some friends. Didn't want to put them on Facebook, but want to share them with someone.