The damage today

After dinner last night we just messed around for a while. I got me a new yoga mat but didn't find a dvd I really liked. I got some new socks, and some Carmel Trail Mix. Yummy. These are my new jammies I got from my dad.

I decided instead of sitting on my butt in a movie theater like I always do, I decided to go ice skating. Little did I know it is where all the teenagers hang out on Saturday nights. I wanted to go anyway. Here is a few pictures. One is of us getting a beer right before.




























So this is a picture of the huge bruise I got at the ice skating rink when I fell; not once, but twice because I was trying to do figure 8 spinny things. After the second fall I was done and the ppl at the rink were nice enough to give us a refund! So Im off to make lunch with my family. Much love.

So, last night dinner was amazing. I had a nice glass or Merlot and I got the angel hair pasta with artichokes and shrimp but only ate two bites because I was stuffed from the salad, bread and these fire cracker fries.

Then they gave us these mini deserts, I had the taramisu but only ate half and Husband had the NY Style cheese cake. His was better. Ok I am going to leave this blog alone and start one for the rest of the night last night. hehe.

So here's issue right now; after you have had a few to drink (wine in this case) do you eat when you feel hungry or not? And is it just because of the alcohol you feel hungry?

On my way to my bday dinner at Johnny Carinos

Morning everyone, I slept like crap. I haven't been to the gym in two days and I can really feel that my body was restless last night. So this morning I made my high carb/protein mix of Oatmeal to get me fueled for my Zumba class at Golds Gym today.







So I got these two items forom Natural Grocers yesterday and if someone would have told me what a pain in the ass it is to stir Natural Almond butter I would have purchased the one that said no stiring required. I had that in my oatmeal along with my new Agave Nectar in Blueberry flavor. I also Got it in Hazelnut that my husband liked after he asked me to make him my "awesome oats" that look good but yet the pleasure of trying. He loved it and told me he was surprised how filling it was. He told me how proud he is of me and then gave me a big hug that I was annoyed about because I was putting dishes in the dish waser. LOL

Tonight were doing my birthday celebration and I am not sure where we are going to eat or what movie I am going to pick. I am craving fish or I would like to try a really good sushi place. Will Have to do some research.

Hope everyone has an awesome and I will post later. Lots of Love.

BTW, I don't want to fake like I am with out slip ups. Even tho I made my own pizza, it still triggered me to purge. So, I now know that Pizza will be a "no touchy" food. Because of it I started feeling weak and I had a hyperglycemic attacked and had to eat a Luna bar, yougart and an orange to get my sugars back up. Felt better after.

So I went to the health food store today and really loved it. Its super expensive but totally worth it. I got 3 different kinds of agave for my oatmeal, almond butter, more greek yogurt and this awesome bottle of EVOO. It was very delicious. I made an omelet for breakfast and it was WAY better then the other day. For lunch I use a piece of chicken from last night and warmed it up and put it in pita bread with some roaster red pepper salad dressing. It was AWESOME. IO had some yummy organics cracked wheat crackers and some organic spinach and artichoke dip for a snack. For dinner we made home made pizza and it was a blast and absolutely delicious. I am going to post several pictures so here you go.










I have had a really good last couple days. Tomorrow my husband and I are going out for the night together to celebrate my birthday and I am really excited to get dressed up. On tonight's agenda is to watch the movie I rented and get a good nights sleep cause it is gym time in the morning. Night everyone!

I hate the way my stomach looks,

So I went out to dinner and did really good.
I had a salad with no cheese or bacon or croutons with the dressing on the side. I ended up eating the salad with just pepper. I had the Grilled Talipia with rice pilaf and broccoli and only ate half of it: This is what was left. I had 3 glasses of white Zinfandel with it. We are celebrating my 27th bday that is on Sunday. I had a really hard time not eating all of my food (even tho I was full) and my sisters; I made her take it to go so I could give it to my hubby to eat tomorrow. I think I did pretty goos, but I wish ED wasn't present otherwise I would have gotten the chicken that was 7pts or the new ruben sammie that is very good served with a side of french fries. Will I ever get to the point that I allow myself such foods?

Anyways, heres me home and rdy for bed. Night Ya'll:

Sportin my colleg e shirt and going to dinner w/ the girls!

So today has been CRAZY busy. It started right after I ate because I was disappointed I was still hungry. So I wolfed down another cup of coffee and headed out side and shoveled snow for an hour and a half. My back was sore and now it is really sore cause I had to use a big ditch digger/10lb pick to chop up some of the ice in front of my fence where the sun NEVER hits. After that I came in and started cleaning and Jammed out to Aerosmith! God I love them, and their greatest hits album I could listen to over and over. In fact, 3 weeks ago I went to denver and on my drive I listeted to it like 4 times.

Anyway, when I was cleaning I opened the bread box and realized that that I was trying to stuff WAY to much stuff into it. So I decided to do this instead. I love it I think it looks really beautiful and I love how I can easily access my bread and know what I have and what I need to get. We have some whole bread, whole wheat tortillas, flour tortillas, whole wheat english muffins, the kids whole wheat bread, and some pita bread. Yummy.


Anyway moving on. I was going to just throw out my bread box but decided not to. The reason I kept the bread box is because it is the ONLY item I have that was in my old house growing up and it means a lot to me. It is pretty beat up and I wasn't sure what to do with it. So as you can see I decided to sand and re-stained it. It had oil and all kinds of stuff on it. Pretty much black caked on S*%$ from the past 20 years. Heres a picture of it after I sanded it. It meant a lot for me to keep this. I love my dad and miss him dearly and to get rid of this would hurt my heart. It was nice to think of him and growing up and all the crazy stuff we use to do. I have some family videos where this bread box is see in the back ground. This bread box has a lot of memories and secrets, some of my own. So here it is all finished and in its new spot on the counter.

Now some of you may be wondering what is in it if not bread. Well, there could be several things it and I am going to leave it a guessing game for today and see if anyone can guess correctly. :D

I really enjoyed this project, so much I forgot to eat lunch. So I had a Blueberry Luna bar and it was yummy. I got into restoring furniture over the summer when i was ready to transition my daughter from her crib to a bed. I found one in the paper for free and with a little TLC I was able to restore it to a beautiful bed that will last her for years. Very Full filling.

So I am going to leave you with this little bit from an Aerosmith song I love and adore.

"Your love made me a prisoner, yeah my hearts been doing time"

I love this because I refuse to feel this way anymore. If it is my husband, ED, my family, whomever, I deserve to be happy and finally after YEARS and YEARS I am making progress towards feeling love everyday rather then feeling like that.

Will update later. Love you ALL.

Good morning, or is it a grumpy morning? I woke up to the kids coming into my room and fighting and my daughters high pitched squeal. Oh how I miss waking up on my own or sleeping in till 9 or 10.

This morning I decided to make some oatmeal with my new Red Mill oats and my greek yogurt! Very yummy.

Lots of cleaning to do today and I might hit up this new class called BodyAttack at 5:30, It really depends on how I am feeling; my muscles are pretty sore so I might need to take a day off.

Last night didn't turn out like I wanted it to. He showed his head and downward spiral I went. Today is a new day tho and I am optimistic that I can get Him licked, if not I might need to spend my life saving to have his OFFED.

I decided that I am going to start saving for a tummy tuck. Nothing is more embarrassing then being in yoga class last night and in downward facing dog only to have my shirt start sliding up and seeing the lady behind me make the most god awful face. I can see it through my shirt and it looks like that scene from space balls where the alien comes out and you see his stomach rising. I just hate that when I jog it causes me pain in my skin because it bounces and hurts. I have no feeling in the lower half of my abdomen due to my c-section and they said it will never come back. Ugh. So, I am going to be paying for a consult to see how much it would cost for maybe that and my boob job; not fakes but a lift and maybe a very small implant to fill out the extra skin. It would be nice to get some of it done probono but this day and age who says anyone can afford to do that.

Well anyway, heres a picture from this morning breakfast. It is 3/4 cup oats and 1/2cp milk and 1/2cp water. 1 tablespoon peanutbutter,agave,and greek yogart with a full of Kashi Go Lean Cereal and a banana. Of course coffee was involved!

I made it to my yoga class and got in a tan and came home to this wonderful dinner: More salad like last night, 3oz elk steak and 1/2 cp rice with soy sauce. Very Yumm




For a snack I had some chips and salsa and it was
awesome. When I went to open the salsa container the lid was super tight so I turned it over and tapped the lid on the counter and BAM the bottom of the jar exploded and my new salsa wasted. BOOOOO







Then I went grocery shopping and got some greek yougart, pits bread, oats, and some creamer for my coffee. Hubby started being a dick and thus caused a huge fight about how he has no right to be a dick head to me for no apparent reason and that if he wasn't going to grow a pair and tell me what was up he could go take a long walk off a short peer.

With that said I am going to eat my 1cp of yougart and watch my DVR of House. WOO HOO, I love you Hugh Laure.

Nothing is how you make me feel, and you know it. I hate you. I have failed myself and will have to work myself back up from the bottom to the top again and hope you can no longer climb and reach me.

So far today I have accomplished two of my goals, no wait..3!

• played with my daughter out in the snow and had an AWESOME time, will post pictures
• Got all my home work done
• And I have eaten awesome today with only a few ED thoughts here and there

Feels good to be on the upside of things, feeling good and wanting to do stuff with my kids. I was sooooo depressed for so long I wasn't sure I could feel anything but shit anymore. Anyway, here are a few pictures from outside earlier.











So After that I had to go drive in it and I hate driving in snow ever since my accident in December that almost ended really badly. So Anyway, lunch was some Veggie and Noodle soup from Pregresso with a can of green beans added, couple fries from yesterday and, are you ready.. A grilled cheese and pickles sammie. LOL I don;t know what it is but I love that combination. I also had a diet soda that tasted wonderful. During my ed behavior I would go through a 12pk easily in a day. So it is a nice change of pace that this 12pk has lasted cause im down to 1soda every other day! Woo hoo. Ok, off to the movie store. Peace and Love everyone!

So I decided to switch things up a bit this morning and make myself an omelet. I am feeling pretty weak and sore from me class yesterday and I need something high in protein and carbs to get me going today!
I tried to do my school work last night but OMG I was freakin tired, SO I watched a few episodes of South Park and Futurama with my tea and called it night. I think I had dreams ALL night and really struggled to get up this morning. Must of been some good sleep.
So I decided to do this entry a bit different today. I am going to give instructions on how to make a great omlete. So here goes it.

I first start our with 4 egg whites and 1 yolk and mix it up with a dash of pepper and a dash of skim milk. Now you really want to mix it good otherwise you wont get that yellow color we all love thru out. Preheat your skillet on medium and spray with some cooking spray. It is VERY important to cook omelets at a lower heat otherwise the bottom will burn before the top gets cooked all the way.









While the eggs are cooking I chopped up 1 piece of 98% fat free off the bone Honey Ham, One Roma tomato and a handful of fresh mushroom







Once u get a good base on the bottom of your omelet you want to take you spatula and lift up around the edges and let some of the eggs floating on top get to the bottom of the pan to cook. This will help to keep the bottom from browning to quickly and keep it from being runny on the top. Not you can put the veggies on either in the center and do a cross fold like you would a burrito or put them on the side (as pictured) to do one fold.








Here I folded it but soon realized I put in way to many veggies. LOL So once I fold it I take my extra veggies and cook them on the side so their nice and warm to put on top of my omelet.








And TaDa, this is your end result. Beautiful color, awesome taste and very filling and all under 400 calories. I topped it with the rest of my veggies and added some salsa. I have a 100% whole wheat light English Muffin with Sugar free Jelly and one Orange.

My goals today are as follows:

• Go to my Yoga class at 4:30. The stretching will help my achy muscles
• Finish my Psychology homework
• Hang with my kiddos tonight after the gym
• Maybe actually watch a movie or the million programs I got saved on my DVR
• Eat great, continue to eat filling, body fueling, great tasting foods and don't fret about having any screw ups
• Drink my water. This is really hard one for me but I hate my fingers looking like pudgy sausages.

Hope everyone has an awesome day and I am sure I will post again Later.

So I went to my BodyCombat and I am officially recommending that they re label it Combat Ass Kicker, cause my arms feel like jello. I sweated my butt off and it felt freakin AWESOME! I didn't feel like my legs got a good enough work out so to the leg press and squat machine I went. Wanted to tan but the ladies at the counter were obviousily slow today and were having issues so I left.

I thought I would be starving, but I am pretty content. But I did make me this mando salad:So here it is, my work of glory, and can I just add that I LOVE TAKING FOOD PICTURES! Ok so heres the lay out:

• Spinach leafs on the bottom
• Ice bergure letture mix
  
• mushrooms
• sugar snap peas
• tomatoes
• cucumber
• 2 tablespoons garlic & artichoke hummus
• couple green olives
• 1 hard boiled egg white crumbles
  
• 4-5oz baked lemon zest salmon steak
• 2 tablespoons reduced fat fetta cheese
• and 3 tablespoons Light Red Wine Vinagrette

I dont know if I can eat it all but I am gonna damn well try cause after that work out I need to refule. I am feeling VERY energized and ready to tackle some homework
Tomorrow I am planning on going to my BodyFlow class and I am excited about that as well. Peace and Love everyone. NIGHT