Sunday, January 24, 2010

Time to move on

I am pretty tired tonight because my weekend consisted mostly of binging and purging. More of the same.

With that said I spent a few hours today looking at health websites to get myself excited about food again; I mean eating healthy and feeding my body food that will serve as good fuel and make me feel good. So I decided that I am no longer buying foods in the inside isles at the grocery store. I am going to stick to buying tons of fresh fruits and vegetables and lean dairy and proteins.

I am really excited about this. I don't allow myself to process foods because I am constantly eating stuff I know is unhealthy for my body. So, tomorrow I am going to the store with a list of foods that are full of vitamins and energy packed proteins that are going to make my mind sharper, body more energized and my moods WAY better.

I do have a few questions that I don't have answers for:

  • Is it normal for my body to put on a lot of weight initaly when I start allowing my body to digest food?
  • Am I going to feel hungry all the time and is it normal?
  • Will my weight eventually level out and get to a point where I am maintaining?
These are questions I can't seem to find answers too and because I don't have a Dr. I don't have anyone to ask. So if anyone that read this that has gone through recovery has any answers or suggestions I would be greatly appreciative.
GOALS For this week:
  1. Attend my yoga classes and remind myself If I feed my body well I will have the energy to want to attend my classes
  2. Try running again and remember what you felt like when I was running 3 or 4 miles and how accomplished I felt
  3. Don't procrastinate on my school work and schedule my time wisely
  4. Stop eating when I am full
  5. Do not go for seconds after dinner and instead use what I normaly allot for "binge" time and spending it with my children
  6. Do something nice/fun for myself
  7. Remember that I am not perfect and all of this is a process and that I AM WORTH IT!
I hope everyone has a great week!


lisalisa said...

those are some great goals! I am really excited for you!
In regards to your questions (and I am NOT a dr but have lots of personal experience)-
You will likely put on weight and have stomach bloating. As you know, all the purging has probably caused some dehydration so your body will hang on to fluids at first. So it will probably be like 3-5 pounds of water weight. Also, when your body is used to not getting to digest the food it tends to slow the whole digestion process down and food will take longer to move through your stomach and intestines. I think the best thing for this is to eat smaller meals several times a day, instead of three big meals. This will also help your metabolism.
As you start to feel bloated you may have the urge to restrict fluids. DONT! Ironically, the best way to combat water retention is to drink more water. A dietitian told me that "fluids push fluids". And if you cut back on water, your body will just hold on to the water it has and make the problem worse. Recommend lemon juice in your water; it is a natural gentle diuretic. Also, grapefruit! It makes me pee like crazy!
I don't know if you weigh yourself, but now would be a really great time to ditch the scale. You have really great goals, and if you see the weight gain (even though it is temporary) it might cause you to freak and abandon your progress. Maybe just weigh once a week.
You might be hungry. As you know, when you binge regularly it can stretch your stomach and also throw off your ability to be satisfied by regular portions. Also, if your binge time is a habit and you do it to deal with emotions you may feel "emotional hunger", where you really want to just keep eating and eating even though you have already had a decent sized meal. Try to replace that habit with something else that is soothing, like a cup of herbal tea, or a hot bath. Go online and write out your feelings and ask for support. Get out of the house for a walk if the weather is nice. Spending time with your kids is also a great thing, but I am wondering if you need some "you time", and bingeing was serving that purpose for you. When I binge it is usually because I need to escape from reality for awhile. Finding healthy ways to escape from reality has been really important for me.
hmm i wish I had some more helpful advice. If I think of anything I will post again. I really wish you could see a theraapist or dietitian. If your area had a community mental health center it would be cheap or free. And sometimes hospitals have financial assistance for outpatient nutritional counselling.
Post again soon and let us know how it is going!

Lost in Obsession said...

Ok so I have tried to post a comment like 4 freakin times so lets give this a try again.

Lisa, thank you for your words of encoragment and for helping me with symptoms that may arise during my recovery. I to wish I could speak with someone about whats going on because honestly my addiction is food, not the bulimia. I used bulimia to allow me to eat whatever I wanted with out getting fat because I loved eat and eating. My husband eats whatever he wants and stuggles to put weight on and that freakin irritates me sooo much. LOL
Another story is I remember a few yrs ago when I first started weight watchers that I threw a child like temper cause I soo badly wanted to eat a grilled steak stuffed burrito from Taco Bell. So the food addiction is going to probably become a problem during this process.

Anyway, thank you so much and my ears are open to any advice you have for me. Thanks again!